'FINANCIAL TIMES The Daily Gelegraph

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chance of going with the lads, " I ask for form's sake. Too late I see that Admiral has been at vodka and is in no state to take decisions. "Quite right, old boy" , he says. "Freedom of the press. Take him with you lads."

My blood runs cold. i stammer something about being against regulations but am shoved into Windcheater and tumble into boat. The last sound I hear as we are winched into sea is the rest of press lobby drawing lots for my top bunk.

Next few hours terrible to contemplate. Plunged up and down in monstrous sea. I shut my eyes and prayed. Rhythmic chanting of marines kept their paddles going. "Kill, kill, kill"

Later | scrambled into icy water and onto a rock. I was handed a rifle but dropped it. Stumbled up beach after my companions but lost them in the rocks. I was alone. Terror and despair gripped me. I walked across the rocks calling for help.

One minute 1 was on dry land, the next I'd plunged into a wallow - a treacher'ous trap full of seal blubber and urine. Scrambled out choking with the smell and found myself back on beach.

Then a miracle. I see a submarine alongside jetty and run towards it. Crew on deck freeze as 1 hurl myself aboard and tumble down hatchway shouting 'Save me, save me"

Too late realised not one of ours. Captain shrinks away. Crew clutch throats and fall to their knees. Seal's urine spreads panic through ship.

When helicopter dives through cloud, crew run on deck to greet it. It opens fire and they surrender. Victory is ours.

Rocket from chopper severs my leg below knee. On my return Admiral, now sober, teils me i must be listed as Argentine casualty or he will be court-martialled. Ship's carpenter to make me new leg. Am elected mascot of Marines, who say I should be first to set foot on Falklands. They roll about laughing.

My part in adventure to be hushed up. Admiral asks my advice on dispatch home breaking news. He suggests: 'Kindly tell Her Majesty that we stuffed the bastards. 1 propose a few amendments We're offering bundles of five each week for £1 post free, and bundles of 10 for £1.75 post free. That's £12 for three months for bundles of 5, and £21 for bundles of ten.

Regular subscription rates are £5 for three months. £8.75 for six months, and £16 for a rea iny socials Org. ase 25 Witch _ane. - into is Please -ame do: Orzanise Pox rat

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Orraniser no.82 April 1982

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