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under the Queen's floorboards. It has been the connection with the rail strike that has caused most concern. Cabinet members are convinced that there was an ASLEF plot to kidnap the Queen to force her to drive engines on split shifts across the land. It was only her coolness in refusing to operate flexible rosters that stopped her from being abducted.

Until Socialist Organiser revealed last week that the intruder was indeed a train driver, he had been assumed to be merely a terrorist or a rapist. Now the Cabinet knows the full depth of the Jostled Meanwhile Scotland Yard has defended plans to allow ASLEF to hold next year's conference in the Queen's bedroom. Mr Sid Weighell, who was jostled and spat at as he entered Buckingham Palace for negotiations, said it was only fair that his union should have access to the Queen's bedroom since he had done more than anyone else in the land to ensure that she could sieep easy in her bed.

The Labour Party is racked by a new row over statement made by Michael Foot apparently in support BEGINNING of the ASLEF intruder. Mr GCHQ Foot told a Durham Miners' Gala that "The ASLEF driver is after all, as Nye Bevan once said, a human being"

At a later shadow Cabinet meeting, Mr Peter Shore and Mr Roy Hattersley launched virulent attacks on this speech. Mr Shore is said to have told the Shadow Cabinet that any Labour Party that believed that workers were human beings was one that he could do without.

'Blunder' Mr Hattersley said that Mr Foot had made "the blunder of the decade" in mentioning workers if he wanted to win an election.

«Workers are extremely unpopular with the people i have dinner with" , he said.

Mr Foot later backed down and said that he thought workers would have to make concessions if they wanted to be accepted as human beings by members of the Royal Family.

Mr Len Murray later described the mass imprison- The prosecution failed completely ment of the ASLE execut- was uncovered. Now the latest ive as "a victory for common sense and for trade unionism"

* Next week: the under ground spy scandal and the Scargill connection.

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ANDREW WIARD, REPORT DEPORT