Crocodile tears at bosses' conference

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Is undercover DESPITE - 1 - the hollow annual confe eration of attempting WOULD YOU STEP TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE, PLEASE? or perhaps because of ness of the event, the rence of the ConfedBritish Industry is to acquire all the trappings and splend‹ party conference.

Of course the employers' actual political party, the Tories, has just completed its own annual DH Dill goe building where my reputation had been built. There wasn't even time to say goodbye and here I was. On my way to Armageddon. Why me? Why me? Tuesday: Arrived last night. Parked the hire car a mile away and trudged to the Greenham camp. It was a cold night. Given a £500 Everest tent but I couldn't carry it from cat but but shoulder bag and concealed tape recorder.

Greeted by someone called Sally who kissed me on both cheeks and said I could sleep in her tent.

Fell asleep to the sound of singing around the camp fire. Said a prayer against being attacked by lesbians. Tomorrow must buy a garlic from nearby village.

This morning I asked my new friend where the action is. She said missiles were on the way. She was going to talk to guards inside fence. Drafted in my head feature on the sex fantasies of the Greenham women. "How the Cruise missiles guards keep the peace fanatics awake at night"

Pink cheeks

Went with Sally to talk through the fence. Guard was a young man with pink cheeks. Looked nervous and pretended we weren't there. Older corporal arrived and made lewd suggestions through fence. Must remember to report him when all this is over.

Action hotted up later. Filed through fence with plastic credit card. Sally, me and twenty other women ran through gap and sat down on runway. I threw tin jamboree with distinctly results.

The CBI has followed up with its own mixture of tub-thumping, "militant" rhetoric and make it more convincing - has even incorporated manipulation of the agenda to avert discussion of "divisive" issues!

Just like the Tory conference, "representatives" are no more than individuals rather than delegates; they report to no democratic local bodies. Their "resolutions" are drafted in boardrooms and country estates and reflect the material interests of a wide section of exploiters in British industry.

To avoid that wide section coming into public conflict, under conditions where a few of the larger monopolies are beginning once again to boost their profits while smaller firms go to the wall, the CBI leadership decided to prevent discussion of resolutions from West Wales, Avon, the North and South West area councils which criticise government economic policies.

The key resolution, tabled by James Neill Holdings, was a subDaily Mail EXPRESS port planes. Noticed the tacks were made in Korea.

Took notes while we waited for military police for feature: "How Reds supply Greenham Saboteurs" • After we were carried away I got rocket from other women. Said someone could have trodden on tin tacks and hurt themselves.

Private property

Later went to shop to buy garlic. Shopkeeper threw me out and said he wasn't serving lesbian slags. Tried to ring into paper but police dragged me trom phone box saying it was on private property.

Can't find anything to read here. Only peace pamphlets copies of the Guardian, and books. Asked if anyone had the Sun but they thought I was making a joke. My darkest hour. Wednesday: Today on verge of best scoop of my life. Interviewing woman called Nicky when conversation turned to red infiltration, abandoned families and lesbians. nept tape running. Conversation got more and more dramatic. Then heard suspicious click noise from Nicky's bag. Seized it and found tape recorder. Searched her and sure enough she was undercover reporter from the Mirror. We started a right good scrap, punching and kicking, till we were separated by Sally and friends, who told us if we kept fighting we would be thrown out.

Took notes for piece on the Greenham Women Thought Police. Nicky threatened to blow my cover. I threatened to blow hers. Hope the ultimate dued reminder to the Tory government that "lower inflation does not automatically produce higher growth."

The more extremist employers who support the existing economic policies without reservation but look for still more swingeing Tory spending cuts and still tougher anti-union legislation, have largely been attracted to the rival Institute of Directors.

But CBl resistance to the shorter working week (for workers) and pay comparability between the public and private sectors (for workers) remains solid, as does support for the Tebbit anti-union legislation and the new Bill being pushed through Parliament.

There was even plenty of the kind of fake jollity and hypocrisy which is normally such a feature of proper party conferences.

Richard Pettit of Vaux Breweries in Sunderland dressed up in a cloth cap and sang a song to the delight of his pin-striped "comrades" ', while CBI President Sir Campbell Fraser wept crocodile tears for the unemployed.

Sir Campbell - recently deterrent works.

Thursday: Woke up to great excitement. Heseltine threatened to shoot peace women.

Well that's what the Guardian says. Can't get straight news here. Women volunteering to break into camp again that day.

Ask me to break in with them.

I say I have hurt my foot on a tin ted peace movement, Penetrated' by bullets; wire cutters being used to 'castrate' the military. And of course the glorious phallic symbolism of the missiles themselves.

I spend morning walking round fence imagining quotes from the abandoned fathers. "She said she wanted peace but she deserted me on the battle field of life" said one man, cradling his baby daughter in his arms. Baby sobbing "Mummy, Mummy, please come home' Friday: Complete disaster strikes. Guardian Diary blows my cover. Major hunt on for infiltrating reporter. I was preparing to bluff it out when Sally picked up some notes from floor of tent. Had been working on piece called "Spot the hunkiest Greenham US Marine"

Took to my heels and ran for hire car. Drove to station. On train saw Nicky and we both hid from three other peace women on train. They turned out to be from Star, Express and Daily Mail. We were all in same boat. Facing the sack.

Decided to interview each other using our aliases. Later today turned in copy exposing one lesbian looking for an orgy, one Bulgarian agent using peace women to spy on US miiltary hardware, and one ex-mental patient who abandoned children to her sex monster husband so she could lower property values in Berkshire.

Saturday: Went into editor' office after he had read it. Tears in his eyes and a bulge in his trousers. I flushed with pride. Safe till next week anyway. berated by shareholders of Dunlop Holdings, of which he is chairman for increasing his own salary while profits have slumped and whole plants have been axed groped around for some element of human sympathy:

«Be damned with the conventional wisdom that the country will only know high levels of unemployment until the end of the decade. Who stays in he dole queue? Your son? Your daughter?"

Not likely! The wealthy exploiters and parasites applauding Sir Campbell know all too well that thier kids remain protected in public schools and privilege while they axe jobs and urge JOHN HARRIS the Tories to carry through education cuts. They know they have their private medical insurance as Thatcher, at their behest, slashes the NHS: if all else fails, they can fall back upon their own personal wealth, shareholdings and speculation to squeeze by.

As they take off their party hats and campaign badges, returning to step up the offensive on shop floor workers across the whole of British industry, these employers mean business. Like the Walrus and the Carpenter consuming the oysters some may weep - but they will seek to eat, nevertheless, and the feast will be extracted from the sweated labour of the working class.

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Chr Dailn Gelraraph Gang SUn- tacks in flight path of US trans-