Why the satellite gotlost

Scan page 5

¡Williamson, 11 Sutton Place, London * THE failure of commercial communications satellites, launched from the US space shuttle Challenger, has been blamed squarely on protesting union members at GCHQ, Cheltenham.

The dramatic news was given to a shocked House of Commons by Mrs Thatcher in her 49th explanation of the ban on trade unions at the base.

The first satellite to fail was launched for Western Union and insured for £52 million. It was despatched from the shuttle Challenger exactly as planned and all seemed well. But to the dismay of the British government it was the GCHQ base at Cheltenham that lost the satellite.

Two highly trained staff were watching the satellite from Cheltenham through binoculars. A third civil servant was giving instructions to mission control who relayed them to the crew of Challenger.

A tape of the incident reveals all was going well for some time. The instruction: "Lett a bit...

BROAD LEFTS ORGANISING COMMITTEE E9 6ẸH.

Immediately the communications satellite was lost in space and although teams of US technicians have been scouring the sky no trace of it has yet been found.

Next a balloon which astronauts were due to use to conduct important scientific experiments exploded. At first this was thought to be because of unknown factors in space.

However, according to Mrs Thatcher, it exploded after the same civil servants flicked missiles at it using rulers and drawing pins. from the windows at Cheltenham which had been left open as a concession to staff.

To complete the disaster, the second satellite was lost in similar fashion.

The civil servants concerned went home saying it was five o'clock.

Tory MPs erupted in protest when Mrs Thatcher revealed these damning facts and called for the civil servants concerned to be tried for treason.

They were critical of Sir Geoffrey Howe for not revealing sooner that trade union membership automatically leads to acts of gross negligence and open sabotage of American missions. been misquoted. All that had happened was the Americans had sent him a postcard wishing he was there.

Leaders of civil service unions continued their campaign today by publishing details of the deal they are offering the government in return for lifitng the ban on In addition to agreeing to a ban on strikes and industrial tribunals, the union leaders are putting forward four other points.

1. No statf will attend union meetings.

2. Any member of staff who has a grievance of any sort will keep it to themselves.

3. Votes will be registered during general elections by the unions, en bloc, for the Tory 4. All GCHQ staff will agree to read only the Times and Daily Telegraph and watch television programmes from a list drawn up by the Ministry of Defence.

A spokesperson for the civil service unions said this offer would allow them to defend the basic rights of staff at GCHQ to belong to a trade union, even it they couldn't notice the difference.

He said national security had never been put at risk by his members who sang the national anthem during every union meeting they had attended.

But Cabinet ministers were still insisting that the ban must stay. Furious American NASA officials have been blaming the British for the biggest humiliation they have ever suffered in space. The Prime Minister's statement was due to be transmitted live to Washington last night but unfortunately nobody could find the communications sateilite. nearly raped by two Latin men. Only the intervention of the anti-rape bicycle brigade of the Women's Army prevents this.

----- pull-quotes -----

I Conference. Saturday March 24, 110am to 5.30 at the Octagon Cer I Western Bank, Sheffield. Credentials for up to 5 delegates ¡trade union body from George